I write and share personal essays for two reasons:
Reflecting and organizing my thoughts helps me integrate my experiences
Demonstrating vulnerability as a strength, and not a shameful secret to hide, is a way to help others own and make sense of their challenging experiences
Note: I add essays as I experience more to write about and coach others.
My first memoir, Becoming Visible to Myself, was based on reviewing 25 years of writing in 32 personal journals. I began to hear my own voice and heal only once I read carefully what I had captured over time. A major insight was that, instead of beating myself up for feeling inadequate and not enough, I realized that vulnerability can actually be a strength. Counter to societal and familial judgments, I believe we need more stories of individuals who do their inner work to survive and thrive their histories and challengers. In part two I provided my approach to journaling as a resource to help those so inclined to begin and deepen their writing practice, reflections, and insights. These essays are a continuation of being visible to myself—and others.
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My second memoir, Dying with His Eyes Wide Open, taught me how losing a loved one requires grieving. Knowing how to grieve and how to support others who are grieving is a transformative practice. As I studied and became certified as a thanatologist, I learned not to fear the end-of-life and how to help others cope with dying and bereavement. In my grief support private practice, Heartfelt Spaces, I have the privilege of helping others grieve the loss of their beloveds and make sense of often complex relationships and emotions. Further, I became aware of the need to grieve non-death losses, such as losing a job or losing one’s identity or one’s hopes and dreams. My essays demonstrate weaving grief into daily experiences that warrant self-compassion and understanding.
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Being a victim of fraud is a non-death loss that required grieving as well as learning from the experience. Since the time of my being scammed, much more education is available about why seniors are vulneralbe and how to prevent such losses to financial and emtional well-being. Turns out my situation fit the tech support scam template exactly. Reading this essay offers both a cautionary tale and compassion for others dealing with a similar situation.
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I have had travel I looked forward to and travel I dreaded. Within that context, my recent trip to visit my sister and her husband in Ecuador was of the pleasant variety. Reading about it may lead you to reflect on what you have experienced when planning, taking, and returning from your own travels.
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Studying for the thanatology certificate exam aroused old habits of perfectionism, worry, and doubt. Documenting my process as I went provided a way both to cope with my anxiety and gain insights about the experience. This essay offers specific guidelines for colleagues seeking certification as well as broader implications for those coping with performance anxiety at work or in other
significant activities.
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Lots of people wear glasses, have a host of eye issues, or injuries. As we age, eye problems, disease, and surgeries are more common. Most people are terrified of losing their sight—and of blind people. Luckily, I have a slow decline, so I can prepare and adapt, but do I wish I didn’t have to? Of course.
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Although I was told by my landlord I could stay in the house for as long as I wanted, when he ran into legal problems, I was told I had to move out in less than two months. Leaving the house where my husband and I had started (and ended) a joint adventure was another non-death loss for me and my imagined future. This essay, in five parts plus a postscript, is about the emotional and logistical phases of a move that have a clear start but not a complete finish.
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